My only problem right now is facing the fact that time is short and that things change. I don't want to face that fact. I want to feel that the vacation will last forever, that friends will always be there for me, that my life is never going to change on me (at least not without my permission).

None of this is true, however, and this false thinking has been catching up with me for some time. Im feeling dissapointed and anxious. This is one of those things that can strike you and either kill you or make you stronger.

I know that I'll walk out of this stronger, but I'd really prefer not to go through with it in the first place. I just want to be on the other side already--skip the thing itself. The whole drama reaks of injustice and stinging toil.

"Breathing-- Just breath", I tell myself as I write. I can only take this one moment, one step, at a time. The present moment is sacred.


JA